A Thank You Letter to My First Classroom: Seeing the miracles in all the mess

Five months doesn't seem like a long time, but change is naturally intertwined within that duration.

We feel the coolness of a winter's wind shift to a warm, sun kissed glowing day.
We see bare trees become once again adorned with fresh, new leaves.
We celebrate the highs.
We wrap our minds around the lows.

The past five months have been jam packed with fifty-shades of change, and if you know me well, I am not always a fan of change.

I like consistency. I like knowing what is going to happen next. I like being in control.

The past five months have pushed me from the drivers seat and I had to strap myself in and hold on for dear life.

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I (finally) graduated college and began my first teaching job. I was filled to the brim with excitement and passion for my new career. I wish I could say that my first year teaching was filled with nothing but bliss, but I can't.

The past five months taught me that not everything is meant to be rainbows and butterflies.

My first year teaching brought out insecurities I didn't know were present within me. I felt alone, exhausted, and incapable. I questioned my abilities and developed anxiety that crippled my every move.

The past five months taught me that honest struggles are not meant to hurt me, but instead are meant to heal me.

Lysa TerKeurst's book "Uninvited" puts to words what the past five months have taught me: Don't get so consumed and focused on the mess that you miss the miracle.

My feelings of abandonment, my insecurities about my abilities as a teacher, my attempts at perfection that left me crippled with anxiety; these things became my mess. I was consumed by my mess to the point where it became difficult to see the miracles all around me.

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I became good friends with one of the custodians at school. We passed each other every morning as I walked to my classroom to get ready for the day. This one particular day, I was consumed by all my mess. This day I felt physically sick from all my mess. On this day, we said our usual "hellos" and "good mornings" to each other, but he continued with something I will never be able to shake from my memory. His exact words still ring in my head:

"I don't know why the Lord has put it on my heart to tell you this... but know that you are doing a good job. Don't let things bring you down. You matter and you are doing a great job here."

When I got to my room, I felt the mess that was weighing on me so heavily began to be lifted. Without a doubt, I believe that sweet sentiment he told me was a miracle in all my mess.

The past five months taught me that I had support in all my mess the whole time. The support of my friends, my family, and my coworkers was a miracle in all my mess.

The past five months, though filled with lots of mess, presented many miracles.

So this is a thank you letter to my first classroom. They always say your first classroom holds a sweet, tender place in your heart forever, and now I know that that is oh so true.

Thank you for challenging me more so than I've ever been challenged. 

I walked into a school where I didn't know a single person. I am thankful for this sense of loneliness because it allowed me to make an honest name for myself. Being able to have a fresh, clean pallet was the miracle in my mess of loneliness.

Thank you for putting me outside of my comfort zone. 

Loneliness is not at all comfortable, but how often do we experience true growth when we are in our comfort zone? Very rarely. Being placed outside my area of comfort and growing as an individual and teacher is the miracle in my mess of discomfort.

Thank you for fostering new friendships. 

I call my students my friends. I believe when students feel loved and supported, they are more receptive to learning. Being in a new place where I didn't know anyone was a lonely situation but the miracle in the mess is the friendships I developed with my coworkers such as the custodian.

Thank you for giving me a space to create. 

My room was a blank canvas that I had a very short time to transform into a place that could be a comfort for my students. My need to be in control shifted into a mess. I became overwhelmed and felt that I wasn't providing the nicest or coolest or most Instagram-worthy classroom for my students. The need to be perfect became my mess. Being able to look past the unobtainable perfection and create a functional classroom became my miracle.

Thank you for being a home to my students. 

My students learned how to get along with others in my room. My students learned how to rejoice in others' success in my room. My students learned how to make sense of their feelings in my room. My students learned basic skills in my room. While all those things are important and valuable, I think the most important thing is that my students felt valued, heard, and loved in my room. Everyday struggles became my mess but witnessing the growth of my students in various facets of their life became the miracle in that mess.

 

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Sharing my experiences the past five months has presented makes me feel very vulnerable. I am the type of person who wants constant control and who doesn't want others to see me not put together. But the past five months, though it has had its fair share of mess, has been a miracle in my life. I am sharing it with you so that those who are beginning their first year of teaching, or even those who are seasoned teachers, can rest assured that there is a miracle in what seems like a mess, that it is okay to feel overwhelmed, and that you are not alone in those messy feelings. I am so thankful for all the mess. Without the mess, our miracles would lose its value. The mess of the past five months has made me a better teacher. Just like I celebrate all my students' successes, I think it is important to also celebrate ours as educators. So this is me celebrating the past five months, mess and all, and looking forward to my years to come as a teacher.

I absolutely LOVE the reading area in my classroom! This area was home for my students to snuggle up with a good book! 

 

Some of my friends/students on one of the last days of school! I love each of their personalities and individuality! 

Thoughts from a Novice Teacher

"On the count of three, you may open your letters! Ready? 1-2-3!" 

I remember ripping open the envelope, my hands not seeming to want to pry past the glue quite quick enough to satisfy my intense curiosity.

 "Where will I be placed for internship?" 

This thought had been lingering in my mind since I first started college. I always knew I wanted to be a teacher. There was a short hiccup in my certainty my sophomore year of college, but it was short-lived. (Instead of a mid-life crisis, I call it a mid-college crisis. What am I doing with my life? Etc.) I knew deep down that teaching was my passion and I was so eager to learn as much as I could to become a great teacher.

I unfolded the letter and scanned the page to find my two placements for student teaching. A sense of relief whelmed over me. Now I know the two schools that would become like home to me. Now I know the names of the teachers who would become mentors of the trade for me. Now I know the grades of the students I would love as if they were my own kids.

I remember this moment in my life so vividly. So many emotions raced inside me. Both of my placements were at schools that I knew not one person on staff, which scared me tremendously.

Would I make a good name for myself? 

Would I make friends? 

I was excited to begin planning for my new students. I was nervous of dreading teaching once I was completely submersed in what all is involved in a typical school day. I was overwhelmed with relief having finally made it to this point in college where the finish line is close.

The fall semester of my internship came and went in what seemed like an instant. I was challenged in ways I never knew possible. I experience more growth than I anticipated. I loved harder than I knew my heart could possibly love. I was validated in my decision to begin this new career.

Now that I have relinquished my title of "intern" and now welcome the title of "teacher", some of the same feelings linger that I felt the day I opened my student teaching letter. However, this time I am more at peace with this new journey I am about to embark on. Similar to my internship experience, I will be teaching at a school that I know not one person. I am at peace with this because I have been there before. It's okay to not know anyone, in fact, I learned that it is actually a wonderful feeling being in a new place with new people.

Whether you are still in school, about to begin your internship, a novice teacher (like myself), or a seasoned pro, there are things you hold near to you as your philosophy on how to be a great teacher. Some humorous, some more serious, here are ten things I have learned to be true through my experience:


1)  Get in Granny-mode and go to bed early!

I have commuted the past several months and will continue to drive long distances daily at my new job. Regardless if you have to wake up earlier to tackle the roads, getting your rest is a MUST. You know that Snickers commercial where they say you aren't you if you're hungry? Well you are also not you if you are exhausted. I don't mind being the 20-something year old that has a 9:30 bedtime. Invest in yourself so that you can invest in your students. Embrace your inner Granny!

2) $1 small ice vanilla coffees at McDonald's will give you a needed caffeine kick without breaking the bank.

College kids are on tight budgets, as are all teachers. I make sure to budget enough money to have my coffee in the mornings. Find little pick-me-ups that help put some pep in your step to start your day!

3) Throw kindness around like confetti!

I absolutely love this saying because I imagine myself literally twirling around throwing confetti in the air as I sing compliments to people. While you won't be doing this (and if you are, then go you!), the lesson is still the same: we should purposely shower kindness to others around us. Being a student teacher, I learned more about my students' lives outside of school on a more personal level. It was evident that school is the only opportunity some of them have adults to pour kindness into them. You may be the only person who will show kindness to your students all day. Pour kindness into your students because they too will want to pour kindness into others.

4) Know your kids and focus on things you can control.

It's so easy to become fixated on things you cannot control. I have a bad habit of doing this. Coming into teaching, I had so many grand ideas that I just HAD to do with my students. (I blame Pinterest and Teachers Pay Teachers for this.) I soon realized that though the ideas were great and would foster wonderful learning opportunities, they weren't a right fit for my students' needs for reasons that were out of my control. I quickly learned that instead of focusing on things that I cannot control, I needed to center my energy on things that I was capable of controlling. Classroom climate is one of those things that every teacher has a dominant hand in controlling. I choose to make my classroom climate a family-like area, where students love and support one another. In my experience, it has led to positive behavior and students become more eager for learning and helping each other. Figure out your goals, take a step back, and invest in things you can control. So pin your hearts out and save all those cute projects to your TPT Wish List, but always remember that you are there to best serve your students. Sometimes you have to take a step back to realize things just aren't quite the best fit.

5) Give students control of something.

My good friend and previous roommate (and now fabulous 1st grade teacher) shared this tidbit of wisdom with me during her first year of teaching. She shared that most of the kids in her class did not have much to call their own outside of school. She made sure they had belongings to be responsible for in her room. She explained that this gave them something to control. When we give our students control over something, we are also fostering their responsibility skills. We can't control everything in life. Things happen and we are presented with circumstances that are often time not ideal. What helps keeps us grounded is to cling to things we do have control of. We learn that though we cannot control everything around us, we take responsibility and pride in the things we can control. This is true for kids of all ages. Let your students take the lead. Give them roles in the classroom. Provide opportunities for students to take ownership of belongings and of their education. When we give students control, we are teaching them how to be responsible (future) adults.

6) No two kids are the same. 

It wasn't until my fourth grade general classroom placement that I fully grasped how easy it is to forget students' individuality. I was responsible for students all with a wide range of needs and interests. Knowing the unique needs of my class, I felt well-prepared to service the students because of my background in special education. While my knowledge of special education proved to be beneficial, I remember catching myself forgetting that no two kids are the same. I was so busy trying to get through my day, to keep my head above the water, I briefly lost sight of my students' unique needs. Though one method may work for some students, do not feel defeated if that method does not click with another student. Embrace individuality and strive to meets the unique needs of each student.

7) Differentiated Instruction should be your middle name. 

When instruction is differentiated, it is specially tailored to cater to the students' unique needs. Content, method, processes, environment, and so many more things can be differentiated. Whether you are in a general classroom setting or in a special education classroom like the one I will be in, your goal should be to first get to know your students and then find ways to modify and accommodate to best suite their individual needs. Some may view this as giving some students "special privileges" or "singling them out". The fact is that we need to meet our students where they are and each child brings with them different life experiences that impact how they absorb new content.

8) Am I describing the disability? 

When we are serving students of all ability levels, it is easy to become fixated on characteristics of the particular disabilities. It's valuable to know characteristics of the disabilities so we can best serve the needs of the students. Even when we know characteristics of the disability, we are often still surprised when those tendencies are displayed. For example, research indicates that individuals with learning disabilities have frequently cited attributes in areas such as hyperactivity, impulsivity, and memory or thinking disorders. If we know these are attributes of the disability, why is is it a surprise if we have a student with an identified learning disability that may have trouble focusing on an solitary activity?

Or acts without displaying much forethought?

Or has trouble staying organized and remembering facts from previous lessons?

It is necessary to know and understand characteristics of disabilities because it helps you understand if a behavior or tendency is or is not manifested from the disability itself. Once you determine if the behavior is a manifestation of the disability, you are able to target ways to better serve the student.

9) Teachers should never stop being learners. 

I told my fourth grade students during my internship that we would all be learning together. I included me in that statement to them because I sincerely meant it. I wanted them to understand that learning is an ever-going process. We are always building upon what we already know and refining that knowledge. I wanted them to see that it's okay to make mistakes, and to understand that even teachers are prone to error. However, sometimes we must put our pride aside and admit our faults. When we do so, we are cultivating a learning environment around us. Though I am no longer a student, I will always be a learner. If I want my students to love learning, I too must love it!

10. Before all else, love your students. 

They always told us in college that if anyone asks you why you want to be a teacher, never ever ever give the the "because I love kids" answer. I understand my professors' distaste in the answer because let's face it: love for kids will never be enough to keep you in this profession. However, lacking a love for kids is enough to keep you away from teaching. You can learn all the newest and best research-based methods of teaching, go to the most coveted professional developments, have the most Pinterest-inspired, immaculate classroom... but if you lack love for your students, you will never be able to fully reach them. You will always come up short. Always struggle to effectively teach them. Loving kids is something that cannot be taught. From my experience, love is as natural as breathing but at times a tough thing to execute. Think of a person you just really can't stand. That person was at one time a child. So loving your students can sometimes be difficult. Choose to see the good in others. Choose to show love to your students daily. Choose to show tough love when appropriate. But always make sure that they leave your room knowing you are an advocate for them.

 

Who could not love these lil' pumpkins and peppermints though?!

What I Wish I Knew As A College Freshman

We all know the saying "hindsight is 20/20". After something is over we have a better understanding of the events that played out. It's kind of like we have this video that we can playback and watch over and over, analyzing every little thing that went right or wrong. I've had several experiences that are like videos that are on repeat in my mind, whether it be significant events like past relationships or even to smaller more miniscule things like an outfit choice.

"Why did I say that?"

"Did I handle that situation well with my significant other?"

"Why did I ever think that wearing that was a good idea?"

Those mental videos of past life events bring with them so many questions and if you are like me you wish that somebody had grabbed you by the shoulders, given you a good shake, and had knocked some sense into you so that maybe you could have avoided such heartache.

For most people, their 20s brings with it a heap of mental videos, reminding us of past woes. It's no surprise that college and life in your 20s is what some people claim as the best time in one's life. However, college/your 20s also brings a massive helping of regrets and "what ifs". For me, some of my biggest regrets/what ifs include, but are not limited to:

Was I as open as I should of been to new friendships in college?

What if I had moved out of my hometown for college?

I wish I had more discipline when it comes to exercise.

What if I had changed my major from education that time I was having doubts?

Thankfully, with credit given to wonderful friends, family and faith, I will be graduating from college in a few short months and will begin my career in elementary special education. As any educator knows, reflection is a substantial component to teaching; we reflect on our students strengths/weaknesses, how well our instruction impacted our students, and what changes need to be made for future lessons. Basically, I am a trained reflection-er. Outside of the classroom, I have also been reflecting on my life in college. In an attempt to help incoming freshmen from having the same mental videos with regrets/what ifs that I and so many other people have had to endure, I have compiled a list of things I wish someone had told me as I entered my first year at university. So this is me grabbing you by the shoulders, giving you a good shake, and knocking some sense into you.

1) Understand that change is inevitable.

Change can be refreshing but it most certainly can be scary. Change is unknown and mysterious and if you are like me, you like to have control over situations. Not knowing what will happen loosens your grip on what you can control. However, change cannot be avoided. Your friendships change, your outlook on life changes, your body changes (sorry but it's true; high school skinny and the freshman fifteen are definitely a thing.. just warning you), and even your living situation may change. Everyone around you is also dealing with life changes. It's all just part of growing up!

2) Make effort for the people you care about.

College brings on a new sense of the word "busy". I always thought I had a super busy life in high school having to balance my school work, band practice, social life, and a part-time job. However, college-busy is a whole new demon. It's easy to get caught up in your hectic schedule, focusing solely on maintaining your sanity. However, no one is too busy to make time for the people he or she cares about. In high school I was blessed with three amazing girl friends and we confide in each other practically daily even today. School and career choices have placed us in different cities but we all make time to nurture and maintain our close bond. Like I noted above, change is inevitable. You will be setting yourself up for failure if you think your friend-dynamic is exempt from change. My close friends and I have an understanding that our lives are changing and so far the long distance between us has yet to impact the strength of our friendship. The same concept applies to your family. Make time for your parents and other loved ones. Your momma and daddy need some loving too!

3) Be inquisitive.

Growing up, I was the type of kid that would rather suffer silently than speak up. Don't be that kind of college kid! If you are unsure about something, don't be afraid to voice your question. In my teaching experience, I love when my students ask questions. From the teacher perspective, it shows that the student is thoughtful and cares about the his or her work. This is also true for college professors. Your professors are going to be less willing to help you if you slack off, procrastinate, and show little to no interest during majority of the class duration. If you start off eager to learn and inquisitive, your professors are going to be impressed by your willingness to learn and be more inclined to help you if you find yourself in a tough situation. Being inquisitive also transcends into getting involved on campus. Have you always wondered what it's like to be a part of Greek life? Student Government? Campus ministries? Try it! Everyone starting college feels nervous so don't be afraid to put yourself out there to meet new people and try new things.

4) Invest time in your body, soul, and mind.

As cliché as this point may sound, it is oh so important to make time to take care of your physical self, your mental self, and your spirituality. All three of these things play a vital role in your well-being and if you aren't taking care of yourself in all three areas then you aren't able to fully commit to your studies. It's important not to focus on one area and dismiss the others. My freshman year of college I was a Lionette in the university's marching band. Being a Lionette meant I had to maintain a low body fat percentage so I committed myself to the gym and was on a very strict diet. To this day, being a Lionette is one of my most proud accomplishments, but I also look back at that season of my life and see how unhappy I was. I put so much emphasis on my physical self and ignored my mental self and spirituality. Though that time I was in the best shape of my life, I did not enjoy or appreciate my figure or how in shape I was because mentally I was completely drained feeling hopeless/self-conscious/anxious/exhausted and I was not investing time to focus on my relationship with God. Even though now I am entering my ninth (and final) semester of college a few pounds heavier and a lot less in shape than my Lionette-self, I am living a more balanced life because I make time for all three aspects: body, mind, and soul. Don't get me wrong... I would LOVE to be in the shape I was during band, but I don't ever want to sacrifice my mind and soul to get there again because I've been a victim to my own self-destruction.

5) It's okay to not have it all together.

Don't be scared if you do not find your place right away. There is no timeline for when you are suppose to have everything together. I was blessed to know from a young age that I wanted to be a teacher, however I had a lot of doubt on my career choice as I entered my sophomore year of college. I feared not being a great teacher; I didn't just want to be adequate or good like so many subpar teachers I had had in the past. I feared not finding a job and feeling completely helpless. During that time of uncertainty, I prayed and prayed and prayed. I asked God for physical justification on my career choice and He definitely provided that justification for me to stick to teaching. People came along my path that granted me reassurance in my major. Though I have always been an education major, I've known people that have changed their plan multiple times. One of my best friends changed her major several times, switching from history to political science to education to her final choice of public relations. Even though it took her awhile to find her niche, she graduated in 4 years and got an amazing job doing what she loves. Feeling confused on life? Pray about it and confide in the people you love who keep you accountable.

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Freshman me with some of my Lionette friends

Current me with my college bestie and former roommate at her wedding

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

Jeremiah 29:11

Bachelorette Banter: Part II

Last night confirmed it: Jojo is going to be an amazing bachelorette! 

Typical to The Bachelor/ette formula: the first episode presented the usual anticipation-building moments leading up to meeting the men and Jojo getting to size them up.

I downloaded an app called FansPlay that is literally like fantasy football but for Bachelorette contestants (because watching this show is basically like a sport, right?). With the app, you rank three contestants, solely based off of their profile bios. For each week that your selected contestants receive a rose from Jojo, you get a certain amount of points. Before watching last night's premier I chose the following guys as the best suitors for Jojo:

#3: Jonathon (aka man in kilt) 

I totally regret choosing Jonathon as one of my top three fellas after having to witness the terrible "no panties" joke he said to Jojo when he got out of the limo. Wearing the kilt, I thought, was neat! It definitely made him stand out and was a good conversation starter about his heritage. But Jonathon, c'mon, bud... you had to totally ruin it with the inappropriate joke. *sigh*

I chose Jonathon as my #3 guy for Jojo because he seemed to have a really silly sense of humor. In his bio, he even gives credit to his sense of humor as being one of his best attributes. One of his favorite movies is also Toy Story 3 so I thought for sure this guy had to be cool if he had a love for Disney! JoJo's sense of humor seems really laid-back and fun-loving so I thought Jonathon's sense of humor would be a good match (but obviously I was wrong.)

I also liked how Jonathon included in his profile bio that his greatest accomplishment to date was buying and renovating a house on his own. Jojo, who is in the real estate business, would be all for that! Jonathon should saved the crude humor for another time, used the kilt as a conversation starter about his upbringing, and maybe bring up real-estate stuff since that is something Jojo is knowledgeable about.

#2: Alex (attractive, yet short, Marine) 

Based off of looks, I think Alex and Jojo would look great together! I was a little surprised about his height, but up against Jojo it doesn't seem so bad.

Alex being in the military is a HUGE plus. Any man willing to serve his country is an attractive trait. It also shows he's a hard working, trustworthy individual. I chose Alex as one of my top guys because based off of his profile, he seemed to have a strong sense of himself, just like Jojo. After watching last night's episode, I'm still rooting for Alex. I think he will be in some of the season's drama, but (hopefully) he will handle it all with grace. We shall see!

#1: Chad (the bully /"bad boy") 

I was about to LOSE it hearing him complain the entire night. He proved himself to be a stereotypical bully and I am so sad I chose him as my number one pick for Jojo!

Before watching the premier, I picked Chad for several reasons:

a. He's a luxury real estate agent. Since Jojo is involved with real-estate I figured they'd have plenty of common ground interests to talk about.

b. He's an ex-Marine, so like Alex he seems like a hard-working, trustworthy guy.

c. He seemed laid-back and chill. Jojo is someone that is relatable so I thought Chad's self-described "laid-back" nature would be a good fit for Jojo's personality.

I think we will definitely be seeing a lot more from Chad this season. The previews for this season seemed to have Chad in the middle of most of the drama. Jojo says in the previews that she is really drawn to Chad and calls him the "bad boy" type. Booo. Don't do it, Jojo!

 For my fantasy league sake, I hope Chad sticks around. For Jojo's sake, I hope she isn't blinded by his charm and sees how he is a bully to the other guys. She talked about how she felt drawn to Chad, but honestly.... I just didn't see it. He immediately just annoyed me. Sorry, Chad.

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Here are my top three picks for Jojo after watching last night's premier: 

#3: Wells (aka man with the acapella-entourage) 

Wasn't Wells just adorable?? I'm not sure if I see Jojo with a DJ, but props to Wells for bringing the acapella group! She obviously really loved it and it made a great, lasting first impression. Kinda wish the singers left once the cocktail hour started.. It was sweet and cute when he first got out of the limo but when they started singing again once Wells and Jojo got some one-on-one time, I was over it. 

#2: Alex (attractive, yet short, Marine) 

I just get a good vibe from Alex! It was kinda a turn off when he started doing push-ups, but hey, Jojo seemed to like it so that's all that matters! 

#1: Jordan (ex-football player / winner of the first impression rose) 

Jordan was great right from the get-go! He was relaxed yet comfortable in his own skin and didn't rely just on corny gimmicks. It was no surprise Jojo gave him the first impression rose. But... #tbt to last season when Ben gave Olivia the first impression rose... we all know how that ended. I'm hoping Jordan continues being a gentlemen but I have a feeling that he is going to be the center of a lot of this season's drama. Don't let me down, Jordan!!  

Bachelorette Banter: Part I

I treat watching The Bachelor/Bachelorette like how some people watch a playoff game. I am glued to the TV, I am constantly tweeting my thoughts (always using #TheBachelor, of course), I cheer, I fist bump, etc. So in conclusion, I am a HUGE Bachelor fan. After watching each week's episode, I like to read various blogs to see the thoughts other avid viewers express. As the new season of The Bachelorette approaches, I decided to attempt (key word: attempt) to share some of my thoughts on each week's episode to add to the craziness that is Bachelor Nation.

This is the first Bachelorette season that I am OH SO excited to watch pan out on the screen. JoJo was definitely one of my favorite contestants on Ben Higgin's season because of her authentic and relateable nature; who didn't want to be her best friend after watching her on TV?? In the spirit of a new season approaching, I compiled a list of things that make JoJo a top-notch human being and bachelorette:

1. She values friendship.

Truth be told, though I really really liked JoJo, I didn't anticipate Ben choosing her; she seemed more like a best buddy to him. BUT I love when relationships have that "friendly" nature to them. I think partners ought to have a strong sense of friendship and companionship to accompany the romantic relationship. That is something I really admire about previous bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe and her fiance Shawn Booth. (If you don't already follow their Snapchat accounts, I highly recommend it! @snapbackbean @shawn_booth) They are so funny and appear to have a strong sense of friendship that only makes their relationship together stronger. I think we will be seeing this same emphasis on aspects of friendship with JoJo and her relationships with the men. On Ben's season, JoJo approached her and Ben's relationship with a laid-back, judgement-free vibe that is often evident between groups of friends. She wanted him to feel open to talk to her about the good/the bad/the ugly/weirdly hilarious/gross/uncomfortable things and vise versa because life presents the good/the bad/the ugly/weirdly hilarious/gross/uncomfortable things. If you are going to do life with someone else, you have to be comfortable approaching uncomfortable topics. Often time Ben would confide in her things that he felt he couldn't express to the other women. Not many people have the ability to make people feel at ease like she did with Ben.

2. She doesn't avoid the tough questions. 

During Ben's season, JoJo was one of the only women that dived into some pretty tough questions. If Ben Higgins confessed his love to me, I don't know if I would be level-headed enough to question his feelings (because I would be on Cloud-9, ya feel me?). Even in a moment as perfect as when Ben first said those three words to JoJo, JoJo was able to keep a leveled head and dive deeper into his love declaration. It would be easy to take his words and run with it, but she was able to articulate her concerns. She knew the rules of the show and how what he said went against them. She knew that their were other women still there too (cough, cough.. Lauren B.) so he could either a) truly love her and not have those same feelings with other women b) have said the same thing to other people like Lauren B. (which we all know he did). She called him out on it and wanted an explanation as to why he loved her. She has the ability to confront tough topics and ask questions that seem to be the elephant in the room. I think this quality will be great when approaching relationships with all the guys. Don't think you can pull a fast one on JoJo, fellas! 

3. She knows who she is as an individual. 

JoJo knows what she wants in a life partner. Her honesty and transparency make it evident that she knows who she is as a woman. One thing that I find admirable about her is that on Ben's season, she made friends with the girls in the house and was what I like to call a "girl's girl". When I see contestants berate and start drama with the other women, I think it has a lot to do with insecurities that have been bottled up. JoJo avoided bringing other women down in an attempt to get closer to Ben. She knows who she is as an individual and doesn't let stressers like being one of several women dating a guy on television (totally normal, right?) influence who she is and what she believes in. 

4. She handles tough situations with grace. 

JoJo has had her heartbroken in ways that men and women around the world can totally relate to. She went through a tough break up before the show, and still put herself out there, open to the possibility of love again. During Ben's season, her previous boyfriend tried to contact her and she didn't let his negative energy mask her relationship with Ben and optimism of this new-found love. When Ben did not see a future with JoJo, she didn't dwell on the situation. She was honest about needing time to heal (like any normal person) and took her relationship with Ben and used it as a lesson and tool to help her with future relationships. When people break our hearts, it is easy to stomp their name in the mud, dwell on all the things that went wrong, and develop a sense of negativity towards relationships as a whole. JoJo, however, handled her breakup with Ben with great poise and grace and did not let it taint her feelings toward finding love in the future. 

5. She has the best sense of style. 

So this reason may be very materialistic, but we cannot ignore the fact that JoJo's style is always on point. Here are some of my favorite looks of hers to prove my point: 

What 2015 Taught Me: Words of Wisdom From A Not-So-Wise Twenty Something Year Old

New Year's resolutions are notorious for being broken, therefore instead of making any for the 2016 year I decided to reflect on what 2015 has taught me instead. Fifty years from now when my young adult grandkids say "Hey grandma! What are some wise sayings that you learned in your twenties that will help us on our trek to adulthood?" I will be able to share them the following sentiments:

1.) There is no one on this Earth as loyal as your dog.

Acquaintance: "Hey, Rebecca. You haven't posted any pictures of Eddie today. Is everything alright?"

I am not at all embarrassed that my obsessive snapchat pictures of my dog is
 the center of most conversations throughout my day. Eddie is just awesome. Even when I accidentally step on his tail, he still wants to cuddle and watch Parks and Rec reruns with me. He also let's me dress him in ridiculous outfits and let's me make him dance Sean Paul's "Shake That Thing" without even one complaint. He listens to my constant ranting, terrible singing, and bad jokes yet still thinks I'm the coolest person that has ever graced the planet. Is there a human that will do all those things? Nope. 

Note: I am thoroughly convinced Eddie is a human reincarnated into a dog's body. 

2.) Taking care of your body is just as important as taking care of your mind and your soul. 

Being a college student taking 18+ hours of senior level classes while also working a part-time job and teaching dance made me appreciate taking naps more than ever before. I found myself closing my eyes for a short 10 minute snooze in between classes and jobs just to keep my sanity. In those (rare) quiet moments, praying also brought a sense of peace. However, I found myself forgetting to take care of my physical self. Though my scale didn't waver, my clothes began to fit differently and my confidence began diminishing as well. To fully take care of myself I learned I needed to devote time to nurture myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Being on campus starting at 8:00am, eating lunch on my way to work, leaving work at 7:30pm to then be welcomed home by the reality of hours of homework and an empty stomach did not warrant for much time to exercise. I am still working on taking better care of my physical self but 2015 taught me that taking care of my physical self should be just as valued as nurturing my mind and soul.

3.) Living back home with your parents is a blessing not a curse. 

I decided to go to a college in the same town I grew up in. When deciding on where to attend, I chose this university because it was "affordable" (Note: the word "affordable" and "college" don't really go together but this school is more "affordable" than others) and has a terrific accredited education program. I remember comparing myself to my other friends who were moving away for school. Though I was happy with my decision to stay in town for college, I couldn't shrug away the lingering feeling of jealousy I felt because I too wanted to live on my own in a new town away from my parents. After saving up money my freshman year, I moved into an apartment with one of my dearest friends I made while being a Lionette in the university's band. I loved living in the apartment and having that sense of independence. However, when our third roommate graduated and moved out and we could not find a replacement, life hit hard and I had to ask my parents for help with some of my bills. I hate asking my parents for money. Hate it. I like working and knowing I can provide for myself. But life happens. And I learned that it is okay to ask for help. Asking for help doesn't mean you are weak, dumb, or incapable. We all come across tough times. The next semester, my roommate and I decided it would be best if we both moved home to save some money.
Moving home after a year allowed me to better appreciate my parents' love and guidance and I am forever grateful and blessed that they welcomed me back home. It was then that I also realized that other kids (I still consider myself a kid) my age were not so fortunate to have parents willing and able to help them in such ways.
Moving home also brought to light how much young adults shame others their age who move home with their parents. Perhaps I noticed this because in a way I felt as if they were shaming me for my transition back home. Whatever the case may be, moving home taught me that each of us has a unique situation. Some of use leave home and never return. Some of us always stay home. Some of us leave and later return. Our stories/journeys/situations/needs/wants/finances/hopes/dreams/passions/goals/limitations/lives are all so different.

These are my roommates. They are pretty darn cool if you ask me. 

Which brings me to... 

4.) Having a savings account should be a top priority.

I've been back home with my parents for two years now and my savings account is still no where near where it was before I decided to move out. I currently have about a fourth of what was in my savings pre-move and over the past couple years I have (slowly) tried to reestablish my savings account to the point it was before I moved out. Saving money is HARD. No one ever tells you how hard it is. I remember taking a financing class in high school. "Just put some money back each pay check and BAM! you have $1,000+ in a year!" What they failed to mention was how to save that much money in that short time span while paying for college, gas, food, clothes, etc. all on minimum wage. 

My small savings account taught me several things:

a. Having money does NOT mean you can afford something. 

Sure, I have $200. But I do not have $200 to spend on shoes.

Sure, I have $20. But buying Starbucks daily means that $20 is no longer available to fill my gas tank.

Sure, I have $150. But I do not have $150 to spend on an outfit that I'll maybe wear twice. 

b. Learn to say "NO". 

I've had to be the Debbie Downer who has had to say no to going places because of monetary reasons. While it sucks in the moment, not having any money later and having a ton of debt sucks more. 

c. Differentiate between needs and wants. 

Do you really need that overly priced shirt from that boutique that literally everyone in town has? Probably not. 

5.) There is such thing as social media etiquette. 

Here is a crash course to Social Media Etiquette 101:

a. Filters are cool and all but remember that most people on social media actually see you in person.

Meaning: If your filters/edits on your pictures make you look unrealistically crisp and perfect, people who see you in person will without a doubt know you spent way too much time taking/picking/editing your pictures. There are not filters in real life. Love and appreciate the skin you are in, no filters and all! 

  

No filters. 

 

Too many filters to even list.

b. If you post pictures all day everyday on Instagram yet have "46 posts" within the last 5 years you've had an account... we all know you play the deleting game. 

Meaning: Why go through all that trouble of deleting pictures? Just leave your posts posted. We all know you uploaded them; it's been all over our news feeds all day everyday. It's no secret.

c. Your worth is not found in the number of "likes" you receive.

Meaning: Post a picture because you like it. Do not post a picture because you want others to like it or to like you.

d. Deleting a picture because it did not get as many "likes" as you wanted is just silly. 

Meaning: Your worth is not found in the number of "likes" you receive. (See part c) If anyone looks at your picture and says, "Oh my goodness! How can he/she live with themselves! He/she got only 10 likes on that picture?! How does he/she have any dignity?! How does he/she show his/her face in public?!" then those people need to get a hobby and should not spend so much energy creeping on social media. It is sillier to delete pictures and repost them in hopes of getting more likes than to post a picture once and receive a few "likes".

e. "Liking" your own picture is just silly.

Meaning: We all know you like that picture you just posted. If you didn't like it, you wouldn't have posted it. If you "like" your own picture to increase the amount of "likes" you receive, then please revisit part c.

f. Live in the moment. 

Meaning: You do not have to take a picture of everything you do and/or everywhere you go. Doing fun things and spending time with the people you treasure gets somewhat tainted when you feel the need to prove your fun nature with your social media followers.