Stay weird. : What I Wish I Knew As A College Freshman

We all know the saying "hindsight is 20/20". After something is over we have a better understanding of the events that played out. It's kind of like we have this video that we can playback and watch over and over, analyzing every little thing that went right or wrong. I've had several experiences that are like videos that are on repeat in my mind, whether it be significant events like past relationships or even to smaller more miniscule things like an outfit choice.

"Why did I say that?"

"Did I handle that situation well with my significant other?"

"Why did I ever think that wearing that was a good idea?"

Those mental videos of past life events bring with them so many questions and if you are like me you wish that somebody had grabbed you by the shoulders, given you a good shake, and had knocked some sense into you so that maybe you could have avoided such heartache.

For most people, their 20s brings with it a heap of mental videos, reminding us of past woes. It's no surprise that college and life in your 20s is what some people claim as the best time in one's life. However, college/your 20s also brings a massive helping of regrets and "what ifs". For me, some of my biggest regrets/what ifs include, but are not limited to:

Was I as open as I should of been to new friendships in college?

What if I had moved out of my hometown for college?

I wish I had more discipline when it comes to exercise.

What if I had changed my major from education that time I was having doubts?

Thankfully, with credit given to wonderful friends, family and faith, I will be graduating from college in a few short months and will begin my career in elementary special education. As any educator knows, reflection is a substantial component to teaching; we reflect on our students strengths/weaknesses, how well our instruction impacted our students, and what changes need to be made for future lessons. Basically, I am a trained reflection-er. Outside of the classroom, I have also been reflecting on my life in college. In an attempt to help incoming freshmen from having the same mental videos with regrets/what ifs that I and so many other people have had to endure, I have compiled a list of things I wish someone had told me as I entered my first year at university. So this is me grabbing you by the shoulders, giving you a good shake, and knocking some sense into you.

1) Understand that change is inevitable.

Change can be refreshing but it most certainly can be scary. Change is unknown and mysterious and if you are like me, you like to have control over situations. Not knowing what will happen loosens your grip on what you can control. However, change cannot be avoided. Your friendships change, your outlook on life changes, your body changes (sorry but it's true; high school skinny and the freshman fifteen are definitely a thing.. just warning you), and even your living situation may change. Everyone around you is also dealing with life changes. It's all just part of growing up!

2) Make effort for the people you care about.

College brings on a new sense of the word "busy". I always thought I had a super busy life in high school having to balance my school work, band practice, social life, and a part-time job. However, college-busy is a whole new demon. It's easy to get caught up in your hectic schedule, focusing solely on maintaining your sanity. However, no one is too busy to make time for the people he or she cares about. In high school I was blessed with three amazing girl friends and we confide in each other practically daily even today. School and career choices have placed us in different cities but we all make time to nurture and maintain our close bond. Like I noted above, change is inevitable. You will be setting yourself up for failure if you think your friend-dynamic is exempt from change. My close friends and I have an understanding that our lives are changing and so far the long distance between us has yet to impact the strength of our friendship. The same concept applies to your family. Make time for your parents and other loved ones. Your momma and daddy need some loving too!

3) Be inquisitive.

Growing up, I was the type of kid that would rather suffer silently than speak up. Don't be that kind of college kid! If you are unsure about something, don't be afraid to voice your question. In my teaching experience, I love when my students ask questions. From the teacher perspective, it shows that the student is thoughtful and cares about the his or her work. This is also true for college professors. Your professors are going to be less willing to help you if you slack off, procrastinate, and show little to no interest during majority of the class duration. If you start off eager to learn and inquisitive, your professors are going to be impressed by your willingness to learn and be more inclined to help you if you find yourself in a tough situation. Being inquisitive also transcends into getting involved on campus. Have you always wondered what it's like to be a part of Greek life? Student Government? Campus ministries? Try it! Everyone starting college feels nervous so don't be afraid to put yourself out there to meet new people and try new things.

4) Invest time in your body, soul, and mind.

As cliché as this point may sound, it is oh so important to make time to take care of your physical self, your mental self, and your spirituality. All three of these things play a vital role in your well-being and if you aren't taking care of yourself in all three areas then you aren't able to fully commit to your studies. It's important not to focus on one area and dismiss the others. My freshman year of college I was a Lionette in the university's marching band. Being a Lionette meant I had to maintain a low body fat percentage so I committed myself to the gym and was on a very strict diet. To this day, being a Lionette is one of my most proud accomplishments, but I also look back at that season of my life and see how unhappy I was. I put so much emphasis on my physical self and ignored my mental self and spirituality. Though that time I was in the best shape of my life, I did not enjoy or appreciate my figure or how in shape I was because mentally I was completely drained feeling hopeless/self-conscious/anxious/exhausted and I was not investing time to focus on my relationship with God. Even though now I am entering my ninth (and final) semester of college a few pounds heavier and a lot less in shape than my Lionette-self, I am living a more balanced life because I make time for all three aspects: body, mind, and soul. Don't get me wrong... I would LOVE to be in the shape I was during band, but I don't ever want to sacrifice my mind and soul to get there again because I've been a victim to my own self-destruction.

5) It's okay to not have it all together.

Don't be scared if you do not find your place right away. There is no timeline for when you are suppose to have everything together. I was blessed to know from a young age that I wanted to be a teacher, however I had a lot of doubt on my career choice as I entered my sophomore year of college. I feared not being a great teacher; I didn't just want to be adequate or good like so many subpar teachers I had had in the past. I feared not finding a job and feeling completely helpless. During that time of uncertainty, I prayed and prayed and prayed. I asked God for physical justification on my career choice and He definitely provided that justification for me to stick to teaching. People came along my path that granted me reassurance in my major. Though I have always been an education major, I've known people that have changed their plan multiple times. One of my best friends changed her major several times, switching from history to political science to education to her final choice of public relations. Even though it took her awhile to find her niche, she graduated in 4 years and got an amazing job doing what she loves. Feeling confused on life? Pray about it and confide in the people you love who keep you accountable.